losing communication skills

another grey morning
sky full of dull clouds
the sun disappearing into the darkness
followed by my foot steps.

i pulled myself out of the group. im good at doing that....
but when the time comes, i try to connect...i feel, that i am unable to....
i dont know how to? i've lost all of my socialising skills....
instead, i found myself standing in the cold all alone......just me and my shadow.
now comes the falling tears.

i am happy. thats what everyone thinks.
this mask that i wear everyday has a fake smile printed on it.
i dont know how to take this mask off
they always say think positive and look forward.
easy to say, yet again hard to do.